Friday, March 26, 2010

through the eyes of a child

There is just nothing better or sweeter than looking at life through the eyes of a three year old.

Sierra, you rock my world. may you always see life through a three year old lens and run with wild abandon towards your dreams. i am so very proud of you! i have so much to learn from you and consider myself to blessed that you chose me for a mom.

and you know what..... I want a star tree in my backyard too.

Thursday, March 25, 2010


wow, wow, wow.... I just put something out into the universe and already it's starting to come alive.

all for now. I'll just have to keep you all on the edge of your seats. I's not fair. I'll let you all in when I know more myself.'s amazing what can happen when you put yourself out there. I highly recommend it.

It's better than sex......shhhhh, don't tell my husband.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

an unexpected quiet evening

and ohhhh boy was it needed:

I was having one of those days. The ones where my patience level was zilch, zero, NADA! It just so happens that my kids woke up on the extra needy, extra whiney side of the bed. Needless to say- these two frames of mind do not agree!! We struggled through the morning until I finally gave in, packed a picnic, loaded up the bikes and headed for the park.
I'm still grumpy mind you. really grumpy. It's days like this where I question my parenting abilities and feel tremendous guilt for my lack of attention. I just couldn't pull it off today, no matter how hard I tried.
so....I bought myself an extra large latte and headed for kid land (sigh).

Luckily, once at the park, Jackson and Sierra snapped back into their happy 5 and 3 yr. old selves and played with wild abandon. Instantaneously, all was right in the world again. I sat myself down on the bench, sipped my latte and watched my crazy tikes race down the walkways. It's crazy how one minute I'm ready to sell my kids to the gypsies and the next I'm huggin and squeezin them like there's no tomorrow.

That's parenthood for ya!

So when we returned home, there was a message from Laura( my MIL) saying that her friends who have a farm close by have new baby lambs and that she wanted to take Jax and Sisi to go see them tonight.

woo hoooooo! I'm doing flips over here. Perfect timing. I just love when Sam and I get unexpected time together. Just the two of us. It was so refreshing and needed.
A glass of wine on the porch watching the sun fade out, a couple rounds of seat wars on the trampoline(kicked his butt), a nice quiet dinner reading magazines while Sam was tying flies, good music on the stereo, and now, I'm headed out to the studio for some more great quality me time. wow. I didn't realize how much I needed this.
It's days like this that I'm reminded of how great life can be. Even when it starts out so rough. In this time when life is gauged by work, my kids and their moods, their schedules, my constant wonderings of where life should go next, that when things are the most simple, most pure, that I thrive. I get my sense of self back and the feeling that yes, tomorrow is another day, another chance.

Another chance. What more could we ask for?

And who couldn't love these two faces?

Or this one for that matter: I'm just sayin'

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Wholehearted Living and being worthy

i recently came across this amazing woman's work and was immediatly drawn into her words. as i started reading, it was like i was home. not home in the physical sense, but home within my emotional self, right where i should be, where i was meant to be, where i am naturally, wholeheartedly meant to be. i am extrememly blessed in my life, for where i live, for my family, my amazing husband, for my friends, but there has continued to be a part of me that just hasn't found IT'S way yet. i have drifted over the years, taken many paths, taken on many roles and i have to say that I've only read some of her blog, but her words and message are just what i need right now in my life. I'm starting to feel the shift, a movement towards becoming the more authentic me and am slowly discovering what it is that makes me tick. A shift towards living wholeheartedly, bravely, courageously, confidently and most importantly feeling worthy of feeling fabulous, amazing and talented, not for anyone else, but for myself. I am enough. For me.
Of course, i will falter, i will have days when i feel terribly insecure and lost. but i think i'm learning that this is part of the process, that feeling lost doesn't mean that i am, it just means i need to keep searching. and that's ok. the searching part is pretty amazing anyways.

so there it is: I am declaring myself worthy and will continue my pursuit of wholeheared living. If you haven't heard of Brene, go check her out here.

This is is how she describes wholehearted living:

Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone; I am enough.

pretty cool, right?