Be. Free. Be. Me.

I'm finding lately that, for me, the ultimate freedom is feeling free to just be me. When I'm able to find that internal peace, my step is lighter, the sun is brighter and my soul is so much happier.

This is my life quest.

To just be me.



be. free.   image by me

 

"Everyday I wake up, humming a song,

but I don't need to run around, I just stay home.

And sing a little love song,

my love, to myself

If there's something that you want to hear

you can sing it yourself."

 

song lyrics from Everything is Free by Gillian Welch

growing my wings

image by me

underneath the fear

i'm a mess

above the fear

i hold on hope

underneath the fear

i'm dependent

above the fear

i have freedom

underneath the fear

i sit silent

breathing in life

above the fear

i rise

my wings grow

new beginnings

"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style" ~Maya Angelou


I love the chance to begin again. Start fresh and look at things with a new perspective. I wonder why I don't do it more often. Once a year just doesn't seem like enough. But, I will cease the opportunity now, with the new year beginning to clear the slate, forgive all my past inadequacies and start fresh with open eyes and an open heart and begin my journey to live a life where I "thrive"!

Thrive: 1.to grow strongly and vigorously. 2. to do well; prosper

Synonyms: Advance,arrive,bloom,blossom,boom,burgeon,develop,flourish,grow,progress,prosper
radiate,rise,shine,succeed.

With all the love in my heart, I hope that you truly thrive this year!

mama love

i love my mama
she is quietly confident
she is always there
she is funny in a funny way
she has taken risks
she has followed her heart
she has followed her dreams
she has done things she did not think she could do
and she has done it really well
gracefully
and
humbly.

and she has been the best mama to me!
i couldn't ask for a better role model
i am so grateful for everything that she is as well as
everything that she isn't
she is my mom
and i am her daughter
we are friends
for
life!

Happy Mother's Day mom.

YOU ROCK!

what dorky moms do when their kids are at school

sometimes you just have to create your own sunshine!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQITCD_9_pM

Hope you are taking the time to celebrate and life YOUR life!

love
and
hugs

i love you gets an upgrade

My family has a new expression of love that has been filling my heart with so much joy and sweetness lately. I am going to hold onto it for the rest of my days. It actually came from my darling hubby during a middle of the night bad dream episode with Sisi. She was afraid and couldn't settle down. As he tells me, that when he whispered " I love you in your heart" in her ear and gave her one last hug, that she sighed a big sigh, hugged her favorite sleeping huggy and fell back asleep. melt....

There are many times that navigating our way through parenthood gets the best of us. But when your 6yr old boy taps you on the shoulder and you turn around to see this, how can you not just melt. And then to hear the words "mom, I love you in your heart"!!!!

I'm a puddle over here. a mushy, slobbery, hopeless in love puddle.



So, in our house it's no longer I love you, it's forever and ever going to be "I love you in your heart."

cracking open

image via

I have to tell you. I am feeling terribly vulnerable. I thought I would feel empowered, ready for action, to make the change from being the gal that let her fear stop her from doing things, to being the gal would said, "screw it, I 'm gonna do it anyway." I had psyched myself up for that. I was ready.

wow, was i wrong

It seemed so simple. Everyone else is doing it. Why can't I? Why can't I announce to all my friends (via FB) that I have a blog? Why can't I announce that, YES, I am doing art and feel empowered that I took that step and feel proud. Well, at the time I was proud that I took that step. Now, I'm feeling like I opened a door that I wasn't quite ready to open and for others to see. The gremlins are coming on strong. This is what they sound like: Who are you to call yourself an artist? Who are you to think that people will be interested in what you have to say? Why are you doing this? It's silly.
Even though I don't really want to admit all this (especially publicly), I have to. Because if I don't, than I am not being the real authentic Serena. Not to me and not to you. And that is not why I am here. That's not the girl I want to be.

I'm reading the book, The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene` Brown, which is a powerful and eye opening book. I found this quote which is helping me to push past these feelings of vulnerablilitly and to keep on keeping on.

"Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy- the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of the light."

I know I'm not always going to do things right, say the right things and be able to prevent myself from falling back on old habits, but I'm learning (slowly) that showing up is the biggest step I can take and for god's sake, to give myself a break.
If you are here reading this blog, thank you for being here. I am just beginning to crack open and I'm not sure where it will take me. I can't promise anything. I can't promise that I'll post regularly or that I'll share my artwork often. That is what I'd like to do, but I need to say that in order take some of the expectations off my back and to allow myself the room to do the work that I know I need to do.

phew.....that got heavy.

Here is what I'm thankful for today. By allowing myself to be cracked open, I've given the light a place



to shine through!